Another year, another coupla planes. I wish I had some exciting stories for you about my flight over, but seriously it was pretty boring. Just a few things to think about, however. The first thing is that I am not getting any smarter as a traveler, even if I think I am. Every year I say this is the year I'm packing light, or this year I'm wearing slip-on shoes and NO BELT so I can zip through security. But it doesn't matter, because my bags are still overweight and I have to unzip them in front of a bunch of people who see my intimates while I shift the weight from bag to bag, and then I set off the alarm at security anyway, because I forgot to take off my sunglasses, which is the price you pay for being awesome and wearing Aviator sunglasses at the airport. Especially the seven dollar variety of Aviator sunglasses that you buy at Hogle Zoo.
My first flight was to Newark. When my ticket went through the machine at boarding it beeped, and I knew what that means! Emergency exit! I was super excited. I'm only 5'10 but I like to pretend like it's so cramped on a plane, like tall people always do. So sitting in the Emergency Exit is fantastic. I've sat there lots of times, and I never listen to the instructions about how to open the door and launch the chute - sorry, too busy stretching my legs out! Someone else will have to do it. Like, I don't know, the flight attendants? Shoo - I ain't openin' nothin' until I get a bag a peanuts, yo!
The layover in Newark was uneventful. I ate some Sbarro's chicken, and texted Ryan Simmons even though he never texted me back. Some creepy travel agent lady kept talking to me - she was nice, but she was all up in my face with her Southern accent. So I pretended to talk on my cell phone. Oh, right, like you don't do that!
The trans-Atlantic flight is always bizarre, because you watch the sun go down, and then a few hours later watch it come back up. My body never adjusts. I sat by a very nice couple - he from Spain, she from Ireland. They were on their honeymoon, though that didn't stop him from basically spooning me the entire night. Ah, well. They were great company when they were awake so I could forgive it. I could not forgive Continental, however, for giving us ONE movie choice, and for making that choice Fool's Gold, starring Shirtless McConaughey and Hammerhead Hudson. If you like movies where dumb people do incredibly dumb things, this one is for you! I turned it off halfway through, and now I'm dying to know: did they ever find that treasure?
I'm in London now, and the weather is typical Summer in London. The jacket goes on, the jacket comes off. But it's beautiful, and it feels like home, in a strange sense. One last thing: my new flip-flops and I are going through an awkward phase of our relationship. It's the phase where they start rubbing blisters on my feet. Lisa bought me these flip-flops. They were very expensive, because she wanted me to have good walking shoes. I've loved them, you know, because I'm used to Target brand. Anyway, I wore them for a week and we really got along well. But now we are starting to settle in and adjust to each other. And so it's hard. Please keep us in your thoughts.
In other news, I saw Tom Wilkinson at Covent Garden.
